This has felt simultaneously sudden and like it has been a long time coming.
I’m burned out on food blogging. I’ve only been doing it for a short amount of time, but I’m burned out.
I’m not down with the competitive, entrepreneurial nature of the food blogging world. It’s been slowly getting to me, and I finally hit a wall with it. I know a lot of people make a living this way, and I think it’s great if you do– but everyone thinks they are going to do the same. It’s not inherently bad, but it makes for an over-saturated community.
It really only begins there for me though. I can live with the fact that there is probably no money to to made in this and I’m fine never having sold my soul to wellness brands in order to do so… there are things digging way deeper for me.
This, simply, isn’t where my heart is. It never truly was.
I love food. I’ve done a tremendous amount of work just to be someone who can say that I love food given my disordered relationship with it in the past. But it’s not food that I want to keep talking about, or feeling like that is what I have to talk about.
I put myself in a box when I branded myself, and now I am trapped in that box.
As someone who has devoted a great deal of attention on this blog into health and wellness, I think there was something that was still rubbing me the wrong way about what I was doing. I don’t want to contribute to what I’m starting to see as a very un-healthy behavior in the community.
This is not an individual judgement on any people, but rather something that strikes me in the community as a whole.
I don’t think it’s healthy to talk about food all the time. I don’t think it’s healthy to share every meal you eat. I don’t think it’s healthy to share based on some idea of “accountability” you have about your account where you feel pressured to only eat and post what you’ve determined is “healthy”. I don’t think it’s healthy to spend hours on Instagram looking at pictures of food, taking in someone else’s idea of what balance is, or, frankly, listening to practically the same story over and over again told in a mildly different aesthetic void of diversity or anything that really challenges what healthy means for you.
I am by no means saying that this is everybody who has a food account. But I have seen enough of it to start feeling like I was contributing to a noise that certainly doesn’t need any more voices. It’s loud enough on it’s own, and as a whole, I don’t feel like devoting any more of my attention to it.
I have spent enough hours of my life on the internet trying to gain followers only to loose them again in a day because everyone else is trying to do the same thing. I have spent enough money buying things I don’t need because I saw other people doing the same. I have spent enough of my energy worrying about my aesthetic and not nearly enough on the things that I really want to be talking about. I have spent enough time being afraid to say what I really want to because it doesn’t fit my brand or because I’m too afraid that it will ruffle feathers.
I’ve gone through a hell of a time this summer and a lot of things have changed me in ways I never anticipated. This is why I say this decision feels sudden and also like it couldn’t have come soon enough.
I’m ready to get honest about everything that has been on my heart lately. I’m ready to bring my writing back into the authentic place where it thrives the most. I’m ready to go after what I want rather than what I think will gain me the most followers.
So here’s what my plan is:
I’m going to re-brand this page. I will no longer be Spooky Foodie, but I will keep all my posts as they are. My page is then going to take a more personal approach. I’ll have the freedom to write about whatever happens to be on my heart that week without worrying about the brand because the brand will just be me.
I intend to write a lot more about my personal life, mental health, getting real about self-care, trauma, grief, addiction… hard shit. The kind of shit that could use my voice a whole lot more than where I have been using it. The kind of shit I’m afraid to write about… that’s what I intend to write about.
Its scary in the best possible way, which is precisely how I know I should do it.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me up to here, and especially to those who continue to do so through this transition.